Is "I'll Consider It" or "I'll Come If I Can" a Refusal? What Indirect Japanese Really Means and How to Check

"Kentō shimasu" (I'll consider it) and "Iketara iku ne" (I'll come if I can) are sometimes said as a refusal and sometimes meant exactly as they sound. The words alone won't tell you which. It's safest to judge by what follows and by the situation, and to check when you're unsure. This article introduces the meanings of commonly heard indirect expressions and ways to ask for clarification.

Two Weeks of Waiting for a Reply

*This scene is a fictional example based on situations that learners often experience.

Noah sent a new quote to Mr. Ishii, his contact at a client company. Mr. Ishii looked over the materials and said, "I see. Well, I'll consider it." Noah thought, "That's a positive response," and waited two weeks. There was no word.

In the third week, Noah emailed to ask, "When will a decision be made?" Mr. Ishii's reply was, "We will pass on this occasion."

Mr. Ishii had intended to decline from the start. He felt that saying "We can't do it" on the spot would strain his relationship with Noah, so he said "I'll consider it" instead. Noah hadn't misunderstood the meaning of the words. He simply didn't know that this phrase can be used in place of a refusal.

When the Meaning Lies Outside the Words

In his 1976 book Beyond Culture, the cultural anthropologist Edward T. Hall divided communication into two types. Communication in which much of the information lies outside the words is called high-context, and communication in which most of the information is put into the words themselves is called low-context [1]. What lies outside the words includes the situation, the relationship with the other person, and shared knowledge.

Hall gives Japan as an example of the high-context side [1]. However, according to the same paper, Hall himself noted that Japanese people also switch to a clear, low-context way of speaking depending on the situation [1]. People who speak Japanese do not always speak indirectly. This idea is a framework for viewing cultures broadly, country by country. It cannot tell you how the person you are talking to right now actually speaks.

Research on refusals in Japanese reports something similar. Instead of clearly saying "I can't," people express regret, keep their reasons vague, put things off, or give an ambiguous answer, and these are listed as ways of refusing indirectly [2]. A refusal can be taken as rejecting not only the request itself but also the relationship with the other person, so it is explained that people soften it [2]. The research is mainly based on questionnaires that present a situation and ask people to write their answer. It is not necessarily based on recordings of actual conversations [3].

Common Expressions and What They Can Be Taken to Mean

The meanings below are ones that "can be taken that way." They are not always true.

Tell "I'll Consider It" Apart by What Comes Next

If, after "I'll consider it," the person mentions a deadline ("by next week") or a condition ("if the budget is approved"), they are more likely to be genuinely considering it. If the conversation ends without either, it may be a refusal.

"That's difficult" and "There might be a bit more room to consider this" can work in a similar way. If a boss says in a meeting, "This idea is interesting too, but I think there's still some room to consider it," it can mean "We can't adopt it as it is." A survey comparing Japanese speakers with American English speakers reports that Japanese refusals tend to use fewer direct expressions and give less specific reasons [2]. So when someone says "it's difficult" in a work context, it helps to ask what exactly is difficult.

"I'll Come If I Can" Can Go Either Way

"I'll come if I can" is used both when someone is declining and when they truly want to come but haven't settled their schedule. The words alone make it hard to tell which. If you reply lightly with "Let me know if it looks like you can't make it," and then ask again the day before, the other person will find it easier to answer.

Leaving a sentence unfinished, as in "Sunday is a bit..." is also used to refuse. It is reported to be common in situations with someone of higher status [2][3].

Asking How You Are Before Making a Request

When your boss asks, "Are you busy lately?", it can be a lead-in to asking you to do some work. If you answer only "Yes, I'm busy," your boss may drop the idea of asking. If you can take on the request, you can reply like this:

"I'm a bit swamped, but I can make it work. Is something up?"

If you truly have no room, you can say this:

"I have a delivery for A this week and my hands are full. If it isn't urgent, I can handle it next week."

A coworker's "How's that document coming along?" can also mean they simply want to know the status, or that they want it sooner. If you can't tell which, it's reassuring to give both your outlook and their deadline together: "I can get it to you by this evening. When do you need it?"

Invitations That Sound Like Social Pleasantries

If no date comes up after "Let's have tea sometime," it may have been just a greeting. If you really want to meet, respond with specifics yourself: "That would be great. How about next Wednesday or Thursday?" If the other person is serious, a date will be set right then. If it was a greeting, "Yes, let's do that sometime" ends the exchange naturally, and neither of you is likely to feel awkward.

Reading Between the Lines Has Limits

Even if someone says only "Please take care of that matter," you may not know which matter they mean. Relying on unspoken understanding works best when two people share the same topic. Otherwise, even people who both speak Japanese may not understand each other. When you don't understand, asking is faster than agonizing over trying to guess.

"By 'that matter,' do you mean the quote from last week?"

How to Check Without Being Rude

When you check, phrase it so that you don't blame the other person's words. If you ask directly, "Is that a refusal?", the other person meant to soften their answer, so it becomes hard for them to respond. Instead, ask about the next step, the deadline, or the reason.

• "Just to make sure, do you mean ○○?"
• "Could you tell me if I've misunderstood?"
• "By when might I expect your reply?"

Asking again is not rude in itself. What matters is to use polite wording and give the other person something to hang their answer on.

Responding to "Okimochi dake" and "Ohikitome shite"

When you offer something and the other person says, "Okimochi dake itadakimasu" (I'll just accept the thought), it means they won't accept the item. It's a way of declining a gift or offer while thanking you for the sentiment. If you reply, "I understand. Then maybe another time," you have accepted their refusal as it is.

At the end of a conversation, you may also hear, "Ohikitome shite sumimasen" (Sorry for keeping you). This is often added when wrapping up a conversation, so you can finish by replying, "Not at all, likewise. Excuse me."

References

1. Chris Oliver, "From Class to Culture: Restricted/Elaborated Codes vs. High/Low-context Communication in Basil Bernstein and Edward T. Hall," Sophia University Junior College Division Faculty Journal (上智大学短期大学部紀要) No. 37, pp. 73-83, 2016. https://www.jrc.sophia.ac.jp/uploads/2016/06/04.chirs_.pdf
2. "Pragmatics and Speech Acts: Japanese Refusals," Center for Advanced Research on Language Acquisition (CARLA), University of Minnesota (archived version). https://archive.carla.umn.edu/speechacts/refusals/japanese.html
3. "Annotated Bibliography on Refusals in Japanese," Center for Advanced Research on Language Acquisition (CARLA), University of Minnesota (archived version). https://archive.carla.umn.edu/speechacts/japanese/refusals/RefusalsBiblio.htm