"I Am a King, Not a Slave" — How My Pride, Nearly Broken in a Japanese Workplace, Transformed into a New Kind of "Strength"

Introduction: The "King's Crown" I Brought to Narita

Several years ago, when I landed in the arrival lobby of Narita Airport, my heart was bursting with hope and ambition. My suitcase may have contained little, but in my chest, there was a "King's Crown"—invisible to others, yet shining with certainty.

In my home country in West Africa, men are taught to be proud. "You were born to be a king," my father always said. To stand tall with your chest out, look people straight in the eye, and clearly assert your opinion. That was the mark of trust and the natural behavior of a leader.

I graduated from a university in my homeland with excellent grades and came to Japan carrying the expectations of everyone around me. "Succeed in Japan, the technology powerhouse, and return home in glory." That confidence was the driving force behind everything I did.

However, I did not yet know. I did not know that this invisible crown would, at times, become a shackle far too heavy within the unique magnetic field of the Japanese workplace.

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Conflict: Shattered Pride

My first few months at the Japanese company were like a long, dark tunnel—the darkest days of my life.

The first stumble happened during a meeting shortly after I was assigned. I noticed a problem with the project and believed without a doubt that pointing it out was a contribution to the team. I raised my hand and confidently stated my analysis and solution. Back home, this would have been a scene where I was praised with, "Well said!"

However, the air in the meeting room froze instantly.

My boss didn't look me in the eye and said coldly, "You still don't understand how we do things here." That was it. He didn't touch on the content of my proposal at all; only my "attitude" was rejected. I felt a shock as if I had been hit in the head with a hammer.

"Are They Slaves?" — A Misunderstanding

From then on, I felt myself being labeled as a "difficult newcomer" and "uncooperative" in the workplace.

It happened at a drinking party. Taking the phrase "today is bureiko (putting aside rank)" literally, I started a heated debate about my boss's management policy. I still vividly remember the moment my colleagues looked away, and an awkward silence filled the air. Later, a senior colleague quietly admonished me, saying, "You shouldn't say things like that."

I was confused. Why is stating my opinion rejected to this extent?

The behavior of my Japanese colleagues looked strange to my eyes. They rarely spoke in meetings, constantly watched the boss's reaction, and seemed to suppress their own opinions.

"They look just like slaves with no will of their own."

I even despised them in my heart. Do they have no pride as men, as human beings, not to assert themselves?

The Fear of Isolation

However, that attitude of mine quickly backfired on me. My "behavior of a King" was received in the Japanese workplace as nothing more than "arrogance."

Gradually, no one entrusted me with important work. I stopped being invited to lunch, and a silence wrapped around my desk as if there were an invisible wall.

The fear of being unneeded and ignored by everyone. It was more painful than any hardship I had experienced before. The "King's Crown" in my chest shattered with a crash. "Am I not a king here, but just a foreign object that no one deals with?" At night, in my small apartment room, I shed tears of frustration.

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Transformation: The Strength to "Pull Back" Like in Judo

What saved me from rock bottom was the existence of a Japanese mentor, the only person in the company who kept talking to me. He was also a black belt in Judo.

One day, at an izakaya, I vented all my frustrations to him. "I haven't said anything wrong! Why does everyone deny my confidence? Are you telling me to throw away my pride and become servile like them?"

After listening quietly to my story, the mentor spoke gently.

"Your pride is wonderful. There is absolutely no need to throw it away. It's just that the way you use your 'strength' is a little different here."

He took a sip of sake and continued.

"In Judo, there is a saying: 'Maximum Efficiency, Mutual Welfare.' And there are techniques that use the opponent's power to throw them. If the opponent pushes, you pull. By doing so, the opponent loses their balance."

I couldn't understand the meaning of his words immediately.

"Japanese 'humility' is the same. It's not about humbling yourself or obeying like a slave. By elevating the other person and letting them take the credit, you create a situation where it's easier for you to move. In a way, it's a high-level strategy that shows the composure of a King."

Because I am a King, I Can Bow My Head

Those words brought about a revolutionary realization within me.

I see. I was so desperate to prove "I am a king" that I had lost my composure. If I were a true king, wouldn't I have the magnanimity to listen to the words of my vassals and sometimes yield the credit to them?

"Humility" was not about making oneself look weak, but the strength to let the other person win.

The next day, I went to the desk of the boss who had previously rejected my proposal. My heart was pounding violently, and my pride was getting in the way, making my legs feel like they would freeze. But I took a deep breath and repeated my mentor's words. "I am a king. That is why I can pull back here."

"Manager [Name], I apologize for my rude attitude at the last meeting due to my immaturity. Could I ask to hear your opinion in detail once more?"

For the first time in my life, I spoke a sincere, strategic apology. Not because I submitted. I bowed my head by my own will to achieve my goal (success at work).

I didn't miss the look of surprise on my boss's face, followed by a slight softening. From that day on, little by little, truly little by little, I felt the way those around me looked at me change.

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Summary: As a King with Two Homelands

Now, I work much more comfortably in my Japanese workplace than before.

Of course, I still get confused by cultural differences. I sometimes feel the stress of swallowing what I want to say. But there is no despair like before. Because I am no longer a victim of "the Japanese way."

I have acquired two powerful weapons: the hot pride of West Africa and the soft humility of Japan. I pride myself on being a king of a new era, living in two cultures.

If you are currently facing a cultural wall and feel your pride is about to be hurt, please do not forget this. No one can take your soul. Japanese etiquette is merely the "rules of the game" for you to succeed in this land.

What You Can Do Starting Today

Finally, I will share small habits I practice to get along well in Japan while maintaining my pride.

• ✅ Tell yourself in the mirror in the morning "I am a proud king today, too. That is why I can behave humbly with kindness and composure toward anyone." I tell myself this before leaving the house.

• ✅ Separate surrounding evaluations from your own value The self behaving "humbly" in the Japanese workplace is merely you playing a "role." No matter how those around you evaluate that figure, it has nothing to do with your intrinsic value. Cherish how you believe in yourself more than anything else.

• ✅ Enjoy "Judo" When you are told something unreasonable or your opinion doesn't go through, instead of reacting emotionally right away, think, "Oops, this is a moment to pull back," and try to enjoy the situation like a Judo match. There should be a view that becomes visible by taking a step back.

I sincerely hope your journey will be a fruitful one.