The Order of an Apology with "Sumimasen", and How It Differs from "Moushiwake Gozaimasen"

When you report a mistake or being late, starting with your reason can make it sound as though you aren't sorry. If you say "sumimasen" (sorry) first, and then follow with the facts, the reason, and what you'll do about it, the reason is less likely to sound like an excuse and is more likely to get across as information. This article also explains how to choose among "sumimasen," "moushiwake arimasen," and "moushiwake gozaimasen" depending on how serious the mistake is and who you are talking to.

*This scene is fictional, based on situations that are common among learners.

Leo works part-time at a convenience store. One evening, his train was stopped by an accident, and he arrived 20 minutes late for his shift.

When he got to the store, Leo said, out of breath:

"The train stopped. There was an accident, and it didn't move for 20 minutes."

The store manager, Mr. Kawaguchi, said, "I see," and fell silent for a moment. He understood what had happened. But he had not yet heard a single word from Leo for the person who had covered the register, or for him as the manager.

Leo thought he had simply told the facts as they were. He felt it was strange to apologize when it wasn't his fault.

Starting with the reason can make it sound as though you aren't sorry

Mr. Kawaguchi doesn't think Leo's explanation is a lie. Still, he feels, "First, I wanted to hear what he thought about being late."

Because of the lateness, the store went through a stretch of time without enough people. Listeners sometimes judge, from the very first words, whether the other person understands the trouble that caused. When the first thing they hear is a reason, it is easy for them to take it as, "Doesn't he even acknowledge that he caused trouble?"

Suppose that, in the same situation, Leo had said the following:

"I'm sorry I'm late. My train was stopped because of an accident."

The facts he states are the same. Only the order is different. With that one phrase at the start, the following "My train was stopped because of an accident" sounds like a report on the situation.

Even when you are not at fault, you can say "Sorry I'm late." What you are apologizing for here is that you caused the other person trouble through the fact of being late. It is not a statement that takes on all responsibility for the train accident.

Sometimes people start with the reason because they want to make the facts clear

Even among people who do feel remorse, some begin with an explanation because they believe that making the facts clear is what an honest report looks like.

There is a study that used role-play over the phone of a mix-up about a meeting arrangement [1]. It compared conversations among 20 people in total: 5 pairs of Japanese university students and 5 pairs of Chinese international students. In every pair, the two people were friends or acquaintances from the same country. Treating the whole conversation as 1, and averaging over the 4 pairs in each group in which apology expressions appeared, the point where the first apology expression came was at 54.4% for the Japanese university students and 84.6% for the Chinese international students [1]. The share of all utterances that were explanations of what had led up to the situation was 31.5% for the Japanese university students and 55.3% for the Chinese international students [1].

The author states that the international students who took part in this survey explained the circumstances and clarified the facts first, and only then decided whether or not to apologize. The interpretation is that they were speaking according to the communication rules that work in their own culture [1].

What this study can tell us is limited. The setup is one in which, at the start of the conversation, it is not clear which person got the time wrong. All the conversations were in Japanese, which was a second language for the international students. The sample was 20 people, and the author herself writes that the results cannot be generalized. It was also a conversation between friends, not a study of reporting in the workplace. The Japanese university students did not apologize at the very start of the conversation either. The first apology came on average at the 13.5th utterance, and before it there was an exchange in which they confirmed what the other person was saying [1].

In other words, this does not mean that "in Japanese you must always apologize first." The idea in the next section is that, in a store or workplace where you are reporting that you have caused someone trouble, having a short apology first tends to come across better.

Speak in the order of apology, facts, reason, and measures

For a report at work or in a store, the following order is easy to use.

1. Apology: Say "sumimasen" and add what you are apologizing for
2. Facts: Briefly say what happened
3. Reason: Say why it happened
4. Measures: Say how you will fix it and what you will do from now on

Suppose your boss tells you, "The numbers in this document are wrong." You could say it like this:

"Sorry. I got the numbers wrong. The data in the system hadn't been updated, but I used it without checking. I'll fix it right away and send it to you by the end of today. From now on, I'll review it before sending."

When you state the reason, including your own failure to check makes it less likely to sound as if you are pushing the responsibility onto a person or a thing. If the reason is likely to be long, you can also give only the facts and the measures first, and explain the details of what happened when you are asked.

If you begin with just "sumimasen," it can also sound like you are calling for someone's attention. The earlier study also contains examples where "suimasen" is attached before a request [1]. When you want to apologize, follow it with what it is about, as in "Sorry I'm late" or "Sorry I got the numbers wrong," and it will come across as an apology.

The strength of "Sumimasen," "Moushiwake Arimasen," and "Moushiwake Gozaimasen"

You choose your words of apology according to your relationship with the other person and how serious the mistake is. In the friend-to-friend scenes of the same study, the Japanese university students' apology expressions were 15 examples of the "gomen" type, 3 of the "sumimasen" type, and 1 of the "moushiwake arimasen" type [1]. The study also writes that using "sumimasen" with a friend leaves a "distant feeling" [1].

The usage in the table is a rough guide for each situation. How it feels will vary depending on the person and the workplace.

"Moushiwake gozaimasen" is the form in which the "arimasen" of "moushiwake arimasen" is changed to "gozaimasen." The Agency for Cultural Affairs' Council for Cultural Affairs, in its "Guidelines for Honorific Language (Keigo no Shishin)," explains "(de) gozaimasu" as the same type as "desu/masu" but a polite form with a higher degree of politeness [2]. For that reason it has a more formal ring, and using it for every minor mistake can sound exaggerated.

When you apologize for a past mistake, use the past form: "sumimasen deshita" or "moushiwake arimasen deshita."

Many people also say "suimasen." However, in emails, documents, and formal situations, it is safer to write "sumimasen."

What the listener can do with a person who starts with the reason

Some people begin with the reason because they think they are making an honest report. If you know that, the way you receive it changes as the listener.

If you cut in midway with "Stop making excuses," the other person ends up not knowing what the problem was. You can listen to the circumstances to the end, and then say something like the following:

"I understand what happened. From next time, it would help if you started by saying 'Sorry I'm late.' Then please tell me the reason."

If the person knows what you want them to say, they can say it next time. A difference in order can be changed from the next time on, if you explain it in words.

References

1. 二宮 喜代子, "「勘違い」のロールプレイにおける談話分析――日本人と中国人の謝罪の言語行動に着目して――," 山口大学リポジトリ. https://petit.lib.yamaguchi-u.ac.jp/26008/files/157285
2. 文化審議会, "敬語の指針," 文化審議会（文化庁ウェブサイト掲載）, 2007. https://www.bunka.go.jp/seisaku/bunkashingikai/kokugo/hokoku/pdf/keigo_tosin.pdf